A recent article on the Chicago Tribune's website entitled "Coping with Valentine's Day without a Valentine" offered a number of tips to help those who are divorced get through Valentine's Day with a minimum of stress. This is important, as a huge percentage of women are divorced. While Valentine's Day can cause one's stress level to rise and bring back feeling of loss and grief, Dr. Holstein believes it is important to instead see Valentine's Day as an opportunity to take steps forward, rather than looking backward to the past. She suggests some further ideas that a divorced woman can do for herself on Valentine's Day and every day, so that life has less pain and more pleasure.
"Believe it or not," Dr. Holstein stated, "one of the gifts of divorce is often a chance for a woman to come home to herself, emotionally and developing her true potential. When we are part of a couple, we merge ourselves on many levels. For many women that means giving into what our man likes to do and what his needs are. Fine, within reason in a great relationship, but this tendency to 'take me, I'm yours' can often lead to a woman not fully developing herself."
"Now with divorce, a woman has the opportunity to put herself first. She has the time to really get to know herself. She is well advised to work on answering the following questions:"
What do you like to do?
What do you not want to do ever again?
What gives you pleasure?
What annoys you?
What interests do you have or want to develop?
What were your passions and interests before you were married or in what seemed to be a permanent relationship?
Can you take any of them back?
When are you happiest?
"These questions may not be so easy to answer, but as she gets going with them she will see something wonderful happening. She will begin to see herself returning in full bloom. The girl, the young woman that she was, the woman that she is now, without the stress and burden of a relationship that was not working, now will be able to continue to develop and utilize her special talents and potential."
Dr. Holstein even has an assignment to make Valentine's Day for the divorced go more smoothly. "Do three things for yourself on Valentine's Day. Not what your ex would have picked. I want you to decide is right for you. You may want to get together with some girlfriends and eat chocolates as you watch some favorite reruns. You may want to treat yourself to a massage, or a facial. Maybe you want to sit on your bed and read a new romance novel. Whatever you choose, make sure it is your choice as you come home to yourself!"
Dr. Holstein is a prolific writer who crosses genres with ease. Dr. Holstein's book for teens and tweens, ‘The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything)’ is a first in using fiction for positive psychology. It is a fictional diary for girls, tweens and teens. Written by an 11 year old girl as a diary, Dr. Barbara has embedded within the story positive truths and concepts geared to help girls develop self-esteem and resiliency. Sky Pony Press will be publishing The Truth in the summer of 2014.
Her second book in The Truth Series is 'Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine…Maybe!’ Now the girl is 13. She handles many adolescent issues, including a crush, moving, a death in the family, feeling fat and problems with girlfriends. 'Secrets' provides a book kids and parents and grandparents can share and use as a sounding board for needed communication between the generations.
Both 'The Truth' and 'Secrets' are great for grandparents, older siblings and teachers to establish lines of communication with the tweens in their lives. Both books will be re-released by Sky Pony Press.
Dr. Holstein believes that getting in touch with your strengths, talents and potential at every age, as well as learning how to hold on to the wise, playful, happy, gutsy and energetic girl that still resides within each woman is essential for mental health.
To assist this process she has written many books, including: case study material as presented in The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy; inspirational stories as presented in Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU! and romance, mystery books designed to bring fun, excitement, romance and positive psychological truths into women's lives. Latest books are: Parts 1 and 2 of Next Year in Jerusalem! available in paper and as e-books; Parts 1,2 and 3 of Next Year in Jerusalem! are now available, incorporated into Around Every Corner on Kindle.
In addition to running a thriving practice, Dr. Holstein is a very successful author. She is available for media interview and can be reached using the information below or by email at drbarbara@enchantedself.com. All of her works are available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all other online retailers. More information is available at her website at http://www.NewRomanceBooks.com.
Profile:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, internationally known Positive Psychologist is the creator of The Enchanted Self ®, a positive psychology method for increasing happiness. Dr. Holstein has been a school psychologist for over 25 years. She is in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein.
Dr. Barbara speaks regularly on radio programs around the country, and appears on television in New York and New Jersey. Her inspiring audio shows and podcasts can be found on the web, along with hundreds of her articles and stories. She has been a contributor to Heart and Soul, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Redbook, Real Simple, The Wall Street Journal, Time on line, New York Daily News, and Family Circle Magazine.
Her pathfinder book ‘The Enchanted Self, A Positive Therapy’ was published in 1997 by Harwood Academic Publishers and is now in its second printing through Brunner-Routledge. Her second book ‘Recipes for Enchantment, The Secret Ingredient is YOU!’ has received rave reviews as a wonderful inspirational story book. ‘DELIGHT’, Dr. Holstein’s third book is available in two versions, paperback and a CD-rom that includes music, art, and Dr. Holstein’s voice.
Other works include ‘The Truth, (I’m a girl, I’m Smart and I Know Everything)’, 'Secrets: You Tell Me Yours and I’ll Tell You Mine…Maybe!’, and 'Around Every Corner: Romance And Mystery . . . '
Contact:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
170 Morris Ave.,
Long Branch, New Jersey 07740
732-571-1200
www.newromancebooks.com
www.next-year-in-jerusalem.com
www.enchantedself.com
www.thetruthforgirls.com
drbarbara@enchantedself.com
https://www.facebook.com/thetruthforgirls?ref=br_tf
Twitter: @truth4girls
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