Being a parent has never been easy. However, being a parent in a world in which school shootings seem to happen constantly is beyond difficult. How can we, as parents, understand the fear, the pressure and the overwhelming emotional distress these inflict upon our children? While most parents and grandparents have never dealt with this issue, they have dealt with other issues that can serve to open a meaningful dialogue in the interest of helping kids feel safe. Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist and award winning selfie film maker offers some down to earth advice regarding how to talk to your children about school violence.
"Talk about almost impossible situations in terms of reassurance, this is one of them," Dr. Holstein stated.. "Perhaps the best way to start is openly share feelings and memories in a family discussion. If possible, involve the generations. Great grandparents may be able to tell stories of food rationing, dark shades over all the windows during WW2 and anxiety that the United States would be hit along the shore by torpedos."
"Grandparents can share hiding under the school desks or being escorted to a basement deep in the school building in case of an atomic bomb attack. Parents can share the Twin Towers coming down and other tragedies of the last 20 years."
"Children being able to see that their own family members have survived trying times is important, as resiliency is to some extent a learned behavior. If people we love have been brave, then it gives us courage, no matter what our ages."
"Also, as feelings are expressed about school shootings, take the time to explain to your child or children what is being down at their schools to protect them. You may want to accompany your child or children and have the principal or guidance counselor sit with all of you and explain safety in the school's building."
"Lastly, don't spend family time obsessing on safety. What you can really provide children as parents, grandparents, even great grandparents is a feeling of 'coming home' of 'belonging' of being 'understood' that never fades away. The home is a sanctuary for love and peace of mind that you all work at every day. What does that take? Some easy steps :
"Hug your child. Make sure he or she feels that no matter what you expect of him or her, somehow he or she is 'alright, just the way he or she is.' Mr. Fred Rogers should be your role model when in doubt."
"Spend time listening and chatting with your children. Phones and other devices need to be put away during sharing time, meal time, bed time. Perhaps spend some of this time writing to elected officials with your kids encouraging officials to make laws that improve school safety and reduce gun violence in general. This is a great way to begin to teach your children how to be responsive and involved citizens."
"Intentionally have fun as a family. Laugh, joke (but not at a child's expense) play games, cook together, watch appropriate programs and films, plant a garden, even it if is just in a bucket, do some charity work together or just bake cookies for the senior citizen that lives down the street, keep a jar full of slips of paper on which you or they have written something nice that happened this week or special moments. Read them aloud once a week. Clap, laugh, enjoy."
"Of course, this list is potentially endless. It is the sense of living together as a family and being in each other's best interests that ultimately gets us through bad or hard times. Combine that with having fun and feeling loved and I can guarantee as a psychologist that you and your children will thrive, even with issues in our nation that are deadly serious and absolutely must be solved."
Dr. Holstein is currently developing "The Selfie Project" to help kids share their feelings and thoughts in a meaningful way via Selfies that can reach millions. "The Selfie Project" provides a way for young people to go public on a number of subjects. Bullying is real, school violence is real, drama because of social media is real for kids.'The Selfie Project' is giving voice to those subjects. A pilot TV show is in the development phase. Teens will have a chance to discuss via their Selfies and in discussion with Dr. Holstein, various topics that affect their lives, from friend drama to fear of assault weapons. As of this moment, teens can share a link to their Selfies and Dr. Holstein will consider them for inclusion on her website, SelfieFilmmakers.com.
Holstein's short films have won numerous awards and accolades.
The Truth A Short Film:
Garden State Film Festival Premier - Best Pop Song 2016
Golden Door Int. Film Festival - Official Selection - September 2016
Grove Film Festival - Showing - May 2017
Female Filmmakers Film Festival - Official Selection - 12th of 92 films
Roselle Park Shorts Film Festival - Official Selection - September 2017
The Truth A Short Short Film:
FilmOneFest Premier - July 2016
Chain Film Festival - Official Selection - August 2016
Jersey City Int. Television and Film Festival - Official Selection - November 2016
Hang On To Your Shorts Film Festival - Official Selection- May 2017
Secrets A Coming Of Age Selfie Film:
Alice Guy-Blache Women In Cinema Award - Nomination - October 2017, Golden Globe International Film Festival
NewFilmmakers, Manhattan- Official Selection, January 24, 2018
Brightside Tavern Shorts Fest Film Series - Best Experimental Film nomination - March 2018
Brightside Tavern Shorts Fest Film Series - Best New Jersey Short nomination - March 2018
Brightside Tavern Shorts Fest Film Series - Best Concept nomination - March 2018
Hang on To Your Shorts, Official Selection - April 2018, Nominated for Best New Jersey Drama and Best Experimental Film
Shown March 1 1018 as one of 6 outstanding women’s films at the Behane Center in Jersey City, for Women’s History Month by Golden Door International Film Festival.
Brightside Tavern Film Festival, Season 7 - Best Experimental Film - March 2018
Falling In Love A Coming Of Age Selfie Film:
Grove Film Festival, Official Selection-May 2017
Hang On To Your Shorts Film Festival - Best Experimental Film nomination - May 2017
Hang On To Your Shorts Film Festival - Best Concept Film nomination - May 2017
Hang On To Your Shorts Film Festival - Megan Brown Rising Star Award - May 2017
Love Shorts Film Festival - Official Selection - February 2018
'Secrets' has been selected for inclusion in "Passages: Women in Transition," Women In Media - Newark's 2018 Women's History Month film festival, to be held on March 27 – April 5, 2018 at Rutgers University Newark, New Jersey, and at various satellite venues in the area.
'Falling in Love, A Coming of Age, Selfie Film, is detailed in a new ebook: 'A Selfie Film - Falling In Love' by Dr. Holstein. This ebook presents issues and stories behind the creation of Dr. Holstein's "selfie films", which utilize cutting edge New Media technology. Topics and questions for discussion can be used by a parent and a child, or a group of hundreds as universal subjects of growing up and handling tough issues are presented.
Dr Holstein presented her Selfiesasfilm concept, along with her films, at the American Psychological Association meetings in early August 2017 at a Symposium: Novel Directions: Novel Directions: Four Practicing Psychologists' Atypical Pursuits.
On March 27th, 2018, Dr. Holstein is invited back to the Ocean Township Middle School Author's Day where she will have the privilege of sharing her two books, 'The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween' and 'Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen' along with several of her Selfie Films based on these book to the entire group of children invited to participate in Authors Day.
Dr. Holstein makes a number of her books and films available to be used as fundraising tools. She requests that any verified charitable organization interested in raising funds contact her via email. She is available for media interviews and can be reached using the information below or by email at barbara.holstein@gmail.com. More information is available at her website at http://www.SelfieFilmmakers.com.
Profile:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, internationally known Positive Psychologist is the creator of The Enchanted Self ®, a positive psychology method for happiness and a pioneer in Selfies as Film. Dr. Holstein's Enchanted Self website was included as one of the best websites in positive psychology. She is in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein.
Dr. Barbara can be found on the web, interviewed, writing articles and posting video 'TED' style talks on Happiness, Positive Psychology, Relationships and Parenting.
She has been a contributor to Your Tango, Heart and Soul, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Redbook, Real Simple, The Wall Street Journal, Time on line, the Today Show and Family Circle Magazine.
Contact:
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
170 Morris Ave.,
Long Branch, New Jersey 07740
barbara.holstein@gmail.com
732-571-1200
http://www.thetruthforgirls.com
http://www.selfiefilmmakers.com
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