Best-selling author Frances Fuller offers an insider's view of assisted living and a unique outlook on aging, based on her own experience. Her insights are penetrating and deal with issues that many seniors and their families are concerned about.
It is a fact of life that growing older can cause nearly everything to become more difficult. This includes not only physical activities such as lifting, climbing stairs or just maintaining balance, but also self care activities such as bathing and dressing. Traveling and running errands, or even using technology such as computers and phone may become challenging. Bestselling author Frances Fuller recently addressed this issue, specifically as it applies to the kind of help one can expect from an assisted living facility. In a recent blog post she wrote in part:
One of the reasons people move to elder communities is that they begin losing their ability to handle the necessary chores of living: cooking, dishwashing, laundry, shopping, and transportation to multiple medical appointments.
This makes it crucial to know before we move exactly how much help we can expect with these small daily activities. Asking all of the pertinent questions before we move in is imperative.
I can tell you what is provided in the model place in which I live.
Once every two weeks, on the same day of the week, I have a housekeeper. She strips my bed and puts on the clean sheets (which I must lay out in preparation). She vacuums the carpet, sweeps and mops the other floors. She cleans my cook stove, the microwave and sink, using cleaning products provided by the administration. She does a little dusting, wiping exposed surfaces, but she is not permitted to handle my things, such as vases, candle holders, even books. (Organizing and making the apartment neat are my responsibilities.)
Sometimes I might like to give my housekeeper something: a tip, a birthday gift. This is forbidden, and if I offer something she will refuse to take it. I know she is paid well, because she has been here for ten years.
The halls, lounges and all public places are cleaned by other workers. Not only is the place a model of cleanliness, but it is redecorated for every season and occasion.
In the kitchen area of my apartment I have a washer and dryer set. The machines are adequate for my personal laundry, a bit small for other items, but we all have laundry service for big things like sheets and bath mats. I put these into the mesh bag provided, which bears my apartment number. I include a simple form, listing items I am sending, and put the bag outside my door on the designated evening. It comes back the next day with everything washed, dried and folded.
In addition to all this there is a set of machines, plus an iron and ironing board, in a community laundry room on the hall, giving me options. I can use my own iron there, if I choose.
Because I am still managing in “Independent Living,” I need a few grocery items now and then. Once a week a bus takes residents to a nearby store. The driver waits for us and helps people load the content of their carts onto the bus and off again at the door to the halls where we live.
On Sunday mornings a bus makes a regular run to all the churches, delivering residents to the one of their choice. Transportation is also provided to popular local events, such as concerts and plays.
The institution also has cars that take individual residents to appointments with doctors or trips to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. They can’t wait for us, but they come back to get us when we call. This turns out to be one of the most important advantages of a retirement home.
Now I confess that there is a parking lot full of cars owned by residents. Many are still capable drivers and have a right to bring their vehicles when they move in.
The home has a small post office to which our mail is delivered to private boxes, and the “Out-going Mail” slot completes the service. Since our boxes are small, packages are delivered to the front desk, and the person on duty notifies us with a phone call.
All of these services are available to residents in Independent Living, as well as those in Assisted Living or Memory Care, and are covered in the basic monthly “rent” along with electricity, tv, internet, heating and cooling.
The full text of the post is available at https://www.inborrowedhouseslebanon.com/will-i-have-help-with-practical-things/.
Frances Fuller's book is unique among the many books on aging, because it is personal, while most such books are written from an academic point of view. Most are penned by sociologists, doctors, gerontologists, even the CEO of AARP, and one by a Catholic nun, Joan Chittister. Chittister's book, 'The Gift of Years' is beautifully written, focusing on spiritual values and finding meaning in life. Chittister admits in the preface that she was only 70, which is the front edge of aging, and her book is somewhat abstract.
Atul Gawande’s book, 'On Being Mortal', relates medicine and old age, It enjoys high Amazon rankings, in the category of “the sociology of aging.” It contains a great deal of valuable scientific information and shows understanding of the physical and emotional needs of the elderly.
Frances Fuller’s book, 'Helping Yourself Grow Old, Things I Said To Myself When I Was Almost Ninety', is an up-close and very personal encounter with aging. It is an uncontrived and firsthand look at her own daily experiences: wrestling with physical limitations, grief, loneliness, fears, and the decisions she has made about how to cope with these and keep becoming a better person. She faces regrets and the need to forgive herself and others and is determined to live in a way that blesses her children and grandchildren.
Frances deals with many common, universal but sometimes private issues in an open, conversational tone. Her confessions and decisions invite self-searching and discussion. She tries to make sense of her own past and to understand her responsibility to younger generations. In the process she shares her daily life, enriched with memories from her fascinating experiences. Her stories and her voice — fresh, honest, irresistible — keep the reader eager for more. The end result is a book that helps create a detailed map through the challenging terrain of old age.
The result of this intimate narrative is that readers laugh, cry and identify with her mistakes and problems. Reviewers have called the book, “unique,” “honest,” “witty,” “poignant,” “challenging” and “life-changing.”
For these reasons it is a book unlike any other book on aging you will ever read. The book can serve as a primer on what lies in store for all of us, from someone who is working through many of these issues. While the book is a perfect fit for book clubs, there are many other individuals and groups who could benefit from the information and ideas in the book:
Those approaching retirement
People who are currently retired
Children of aging parents
Those who have lost a spouse
Retirement community discussion groups
Counselors
Educators
Life coaches
Church groups (men and women)
and a host of others. For group discussions, Fuller has made a set of discussion questions available at her website at http://www.FrancesFullerAuthor.com.
Readers have lavished praise on the new book. One Amazon review stated, "I find myself thinking,'I need to read this again and take notes!' It’s full of wisdom, humor, and grace. I also have committed to rereading it annually - it’s that important!" Another said, "There is valuable life experience in this book. Helping Yourself Grow Old is truly is a book for all ages, and one not to be missed." Another stated, "Beautifully written book telling timeless truths, for both the old and the young. Highly recommend this book for anyone who loves to laugh, cry, and learn wisdom from someone who has lived so much life."
Frances' prior work, 'In Borrowed Houses', has taken three industry awards and has achieved Bestseller status. Frances Fuller was the Grand Prize winner in the 2015 '50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading' Book Awards. It received the bronze medal for memoir in the Illumination Book Awards in 2014. Northern California Publishers and Authors annually gives awards for literature produced by residents of the area. In 2015 'In Borrowed Houses' received two prizes: Best Non-fiction and Best Cover.
Critics have also praised ‘In Borrowed Houses.’ A judge in the 22nd Annual Writer’s Digest Self-Published Book Awards called 'In Borrowed Houses' “ . . a well written book full of compassion . . . a captivating story . . . ”. Another reviewer described the book as “Wise, honest, sensitive, funny, heart-wrenching . . .”. Colin Chapman, lecturer in Islamic Studies at the Near East School of Theology in Beirut said, “ . . . western Christians and Middle Eastern Christians need to read this story…full of remarkable perceptiveness and genuine hope.”
Frances has shared stories about her life in an interview with Women Over 70, and a recording is available on their Facebook page.
Frances Fuller is available for media interviews and can be reached using the information below or by email at frances0516@att.net. The full text of her latest article is available at her website. Fuller's book is available at Amazon and other book retailers. A free ebook sample from 'In Borrowed Houses' is available at http://www.payhip.com/francesfuller. Frances Fuller also blogs on other issues relating to the Middle East on her website at http://www.inborrowedhouseslebanon.com.
About Frances Fuller:
Frances Fuller spent thirty years in the violent Middle East and for twenty-four of those years was the director of a Christian publishing program with offices in Lebanon. While leading the development of spiritual books in the Arabic language, she survived long years of civil war and invasions.
Contact:
Frances Fuller
frances0516@att.net
http://www.francesfullerauthor.com
Posts
