Energy Crisis - An Interview With Robert Rausch, Ph D.

Today I had the opportunity to speak with Robert Rausch, Ph D.


Dr. Rausch (widely known as 'The Energy Doctor') is the author of three books on the subject of personal and enterprise energy. His latest release, I Don't Dress Dead People – How To Live An Energized Life Without Burning Yourself Out, details 22 'Energy Connectors' that can help anyone learn to recognize serious, hidden energy drains, change interpersonal relationships, focus personal energy and develop new outlooks on work.


Widely recognized as America's leading authority on personal and enterprise energy, Dr. Rausch has made it his life's work to bring our personal energy crisis to an end by teaching companies and individuals to effectively manage their internal energy resources.


Robert Rausch, Ph D., is a consultant, a renowned international speaker and a workshop leader. He is a Registered Corporate Coach and a Certified Executive Coach. He has worked with executives and corporations all over the world, including Merck, Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, Kimberly-Clark, New York Life, Cephalon Corporation, U.S. Steel, Lone Star Technologies, Frymaster International, Preferred Health Systems of Wichita and the James Hardie Corporation.


1.When you talk about ENERGY what exactly do you mean?

Energy is the internal fuel that drives the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical aspects of our being to create a productive life. OR - Energy is the emotional tenacity that releases immense inner resources, allowing the hardest job to be done.

2.How did you get interested in the concept of energy?

I became frustrated with the theories of psychology. They were not helping my clients get better. One evening I had an epiphany that my clients didn’t have the energy to do what I asked of them. I shifted my approach to asking people how they used their mental, emotional and physical energy. A couple years after that I began to work in corporations as a executive coach working with individuals and leadership teams.

3.Have you found a way to best illustrate energy when you are talking to an individual or a team?

Yes, I use the illustration of a car. We all know that a car has an engine and that it takes fuel to drive that engine. Human energy is the fuel that drives our engine, which is composed of mental, emotional, and physical characteristics.

4.You mention mental, emotional and physical energy are there other categories people need to be aware of?

We use energy five different ways; spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and there is an interactional energy.

5.What’s the difference in the five areas of energy?

Spiritual energy is purpose or meaning. In a company spiritual energy would be their mission statement. It’s what the person stands for and the “why” for “what” they do.

6.What do people need to know about energy?

It’s important that people know the characteristics of energy and the three ways we manage personal energy. The three ways we manage energy is: defueling, refueling and threshold of energy.

Defueling and refueling is obvious except for the fact that most people defuel much more than the refuel. Every individual on the planet has a threshold of energy. The threshold is when you drain your energy to a very low place and the energy lights begin to blink – low on fuel. Each person has a predisposed behavior that happens every time they get low on energy. Some get depressed, some drink, some have affairs, some withdraw.

7.How does stress play into your concept of energy?

43% of all suffer adverse health effects due to stress and 80-90% of all visits to a primary care physician are due to stress related complaints or disorders. Stress has been linked to all the leading causes of death; heart disease, cancer, accidents and suicide. But stress is not the problem. Stress is the result of the problem. The problem is ineffective use of personal energy. Again, it’s like my car illustration. If you fail to put oil in your car you are going to stress the engine. If you fail to put gas in it you aren’t going anywhere. The same is true with energy. Failing to use it effectively when situations arise is the cause of stress. It’s not the event, it’s what people do with the event.

8.How does your approach to energy differ from others who have written on energy?

There are two major approaches to energy. The first is to focus on how to eat right, sleep right and exercise. It’s the physical body approach, which is important. On the other extreme is what I call the New Age approach. They deal with alternate types of spirituality. I’m right in the middle. My approach deals specifically with how an individual uses his or her energy when they are thinking and feeling. It’s more of a psychological approach to living an effective, energized life.

9.What would you suggest to a person who is low on energy?

The first think I would do would be to evaluate where my energy is going mentally, emotionally, and physically. Over a period of three days make a detailed list of how you use your energy. Second, I’d make another list of those things the refuel my energy. What do you like to do and who do you like to be with that energizes you? Then I would take one day at a time and focus on refueling my energy and deleting those things that uselessly drain energy.

10.You have written a couple books. Give us an idea of what’s in your latest book.

“I Don’t Dress Dead People” is a tribute to those insightful people who have passed along energy saving techniques to me. For example, Never park your car next to a nothing to lose car, and don’t let anyone live in your head rent free. There are 22 catchy but effective approaches to personal energy.

Contact:
Robert A Rausch, Ph. D
1Executive Energy Inc.
Phone: 770-367-7001
Web: www.GettingEnergyToWork.com
Email: DrBob@gettingenergytowork.com

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Stay At Home Dads - An Interview With Alan Harshman of SAHDSurvival.com

Normally, when we think about the definition of success, our minds immediately make the connection with 'business' success. However, life is not about business - it is about family. Being 'successful' in regards to your familial relationships is the real definition of success.

That being said, I have just interviewed one of the most successful people I have ever interviewed. Alan Harshman (http://www.sahdsurvival.com) is one of those fortunate few dads who made the decision to stay at home. He did this in the interest of helping his children. Though in years past this might have been termed 'unconventional', this is no longer the case, as more and more fathers are making this important choice.

There is a very important topic that weighs heavily on the minds of those who make this leap - that topic is - survival!

Alan has really stepped forward here by creating a company that specializes in teaching the rest of us 'unknowing newbies' everything we need to know to become a stay at home dad. I, for one, appreciate this immensely, as it won't belong before I'll be dealing with . . . dare I say it? . . . . grandchildren.

1. Why are Stay At Home Dads important in today’s society?

Today’s stay-at-home dads are changing the world. As many as 2.5 million fathers in the US provide their children’s care, and up to 75% of dads would stay home with their kids if they thought they could. More and more fathers are deciding to stay home with their children for many reasons. Many factors come into play, and there is no single set of reasons that a dad might choose to come home. Fathers are more involved than ever before, which is great, because children who have involved fathers experience many benefits – they are healthier, have more self-esteem and confidence, and are less likely to use drugs or engage in sex and other risky behavior.


2. What are some of the reasons the Stay At Home Dad trend is growing?

There is no single set of reasons – they are as varied as the fathers are – but they are mostly financial and emotional – it is very difficult to find truly high-quality childcare, and the best care costs a fortune! No one will love your children like you do, and the only way to know for certain that they are safe and getting what they need is to have them with you. Others choose to come home because of rising expenses related to working outside the home, or because they know that their children will be young for only a very short time, and they want to see their children learn and grow. Some fathers find themselves unemployed, and it just makes sense on every level for them to stay home with their children. Predictions indicate that millions of men will make the move to being at home as costs continue to rise. It just makes sense to be at home.

3. How did you become a Stay At Home Dad?

Like most SAHDs, several factors contributed to my being at home - I have three children of my own, and they are all special-needs kids, and I’ve provided a lot of their care over the years. I worked night shifts in order to be with them during their waking hours, and now I am at home with them full-time. My wife and I have struggled with several daycare centers, preschools, and now their grade school – none of them have wanted to follow my children’s medically-prescribed diets (like millions of other children, they have food allergies and a sensitivity to wheat and dairy). My children have had all kinds of problems because of that, but the most frightening was when my daughter was two years old. She was very close to having abdominal surgery to remove a 13-pound impaction and most of her colon, because her preschool refused to follow the diet. It took weeks of treatment with high-powered medications to undo the damage done in one day at the preschool and avoid the surgery. The most recent struggle was resistance from the local grade school. They insisted my son be put on ADHD medication, when his problems were actually caused from food allergies, and they resisted doing what would actually help him. Now we’re homeschooling him and his younger sister. I realized that my children simply could not be trusted to anyone else! Over the years, I’ve taken notes, and compiled the information into SAHD Survival Guides for Dads.

4. How did you become an authority on being a SAHD?

I am a SAHD myself, but more than that, I spent years researching and learning – the pitfalls, what to consider when making the decision, how to handle debt reduction and a budget, what men need to know and what they need to be able to do. I’m also a member of organizations dedicated to supporting fathers and parents of special-needs children, and have been participating in a financial discussion board for about five years now.

5. Who needs a SAHD Survival Guide?

Most people - anyone who is a SAHD, anyone who’s thinking about working at home or being home with their children, and anyone who loves a man like that – all of those people need the SAHD Survival Guides.

6. Why did you decide to create the Survival Guides?

When I started looking for information on being a SAHD, I just could not find the information I needed. It’s hard to find and there isn’t any one authoritative source of information. There are some books out now, but most of them read like memoirs – not like the Survival Guides that men really need. The websites that are out there are more like support groups and forums, they don’t give much practical, applicable information, but rather serve as a place for dads to chat. Those sites are great for what they do, and I am a member of some of them, but dads need more – they need a practical manual, a Survival Guide, and they need something that is more than a book – something that’s all-in-one: a book, audio, video, and things like forms, menus, and recipes that they can print directly from their computer. They need something that works for them.

The sahdsurvival.com was born out of frustration of not being able to locate information when I needed it, and when you’re a dad with kids who need you, you don’t have time to do exhaustive searches – you want to find what you need right now, and you want it to cover what you need it to cover. You want quality! That’s what the SAHD Survival Guides are. I decided to create the Survival Guides because millions of men need them and they didn’t exist. Over the last few years I’ve compiled four different Survival Guides that are guaranteed to make life easier for any dad.

7. Are the SAHD Survival Guides just for Stay At Home Dads?

The SAHD Survival Guides are for any man who has children and is or wants to be involved in their lives, or for any woman who knows a man like that. If you would like your life to go more smoothly, or get more done in less time, or have time to relax and have fun, you need the Survival Guides.

8. What are some of the things a man would need to know?

How to get it all done, get it done right, and still have time for things he wants to do. Some of the things involved in this are using the 80/20 rule and Parkinson’s Law, prioritizing, goal-setting, parenting skills (a book in itself!), identifying and caring for special-needs children (up to 95% are sensitive to certain foods and don’t even know it!), what to tell the school if your school-aged child has special needs, and how to clean the house, fast. All of these things, and more, are covered in the SAHD Survival Guides.

9. What kind of risk are people taking by checking out the Survival Guides?

Let’s face it, people want quality information, and they are willing to pay for it, but they do not like taking risks with their money. People want to be sure they’re not going to be ripped off, and there is a lot of that going on in the world today.

I’m very glad you asked that, and you’re absolutely right. They aren’t taking any risk at all. All of the risk is on me. I am so certain that the Survival Guides deliver what they promise that if you order a Survival Guide and follow it, and you don’t agree that it has saved you frustration, time, or money, I will give you a 150% refund. You have up to one full year to try the guide risk-free, and if you don’t agree that it has helped you, you’ll get all of your money back and then some. Making sure people get quality is very important to me; that’s why I wrote the Survival Guides, and that’s why I stand behind them like I do.

10. What are your plans for the future?

Well, LOL with a fourth baby on the way, I plan to be a SAHD for at least the next decade. I’d like to keep working from home, helping other fathers in several ways. I’m working on the next Survival Guide: Making Money at Home, and I hope it helps to transform the way America thinks about work.

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The Art Of Networking - An Interview With Danielle Hampson

Networking is not only crucial to business success - it is business success. It has been said that nothing happens until something is sold. However, I would put forth that nothing is sold until one person 'networks' with another.

Networking is not selling - it is joining with another to achieve a common goal. It is so basic to accomplishment that it cannot be separated from it, any more than breathing can be separated from being alive. However, that 'skill', (if we can call it a skill) can be learned and improved upon.

Danielle Hampson is a leading expert regarding networking. She is the CEO and founder of The Art Of Networking (TAN), the founder of Mind Your BIZness, a talk show host, speaker, author, and an international business consultant.

That being said, Danielle has taken networking to an entirely new level; creating something we have never seen before. Any person wishing to experience any level of success would do well to listen carefully to her guidance. I had the opportunity to interview Danielle recently. I listened very carefully. You should also . . .

1. Danielle, WHO Needs to Network?

Unless you live on a desert island, you need to network, we all need to network. Our society is such that networking is a must for all of us whether in business or not, because we cannot sustain just on our own. And we have been doing is naturally since we were able to walk and talk. As children, we decided who was going to be our best friend through networking; we just did not know it was networking. We met new kids, we talked to other kids and decided if we had any affinity with them or not. That is all part of networking.

2. WHAT Is Networking?

There are many definitions of networking, and the one I personally like, I did not write it but I adopted it – courtesy of Dictionary.com: Networking is the interaction of an extended group of people with similar interests or concerns, who remain in informal contact for mutual assistance or support.

Notice that nowhere does it say anything about selling, and I will elaborate on that further down.

3. WHERE Should You Network?

Chambers of Commerce, industry & professional associations, networking organizations, churches, beauty parlors, PTA meetings, sporting events, supermarkets standing in line. Everywhere, provided it is done in an appropriate manner for the event you are attending.

4. WHEN Should You Network?

You should be wearing your networking hat at all time because you never know when opportunity will come knocking. And I don't necessarily mean a sales opportunity. I mean any opportunity, including that of helping someone else without expecting anything in return. One never knows who THAT person may be or WHO that person may know. Other people’s circles of influence are crucial to successful networking.

5. WHY Do You Need to Network?

As I said before, our society is such that we must interact with others, if for no other reason than survival. We all are in business to sell something, that is a given. And if we have something to sell, we need someone to sell it to. That is the very nature of conducting business. Therefore we must connect with others. We must communicate with others. Networking and networking events are conducive to that kind of interaction, they facilitate that process

6. HOW to Network?

There is “Peter’s Principles” (people are promoted to the level of their incompetence) a book written by Canadian sociologist Dr. Laurence Johnston Peter which most good business people have read, or at least should have, and there is Danielle’s 4 Principle of Networking, which I call “The Disch” pronounced “dish”: Discover + Share + Communicate + Help. I can expand in detail on each principle.

7. Why is networking so valuable?

It’s life changing! From a strict business standpoint, networking is word of mouth marketing and is still the best form of advertising. You need to incorporate networking in what ever business you do, whether it’s a product or service, you need to go out there and network.

Surrounding yourself with the right people can help every relationship in your life personal and business.

They say, to get ahead in life, it’s about often about who you know. So where do you find those you need to know? Through networking.

8. What are some of the mistakes business people make when they network? Or is there a right or a wrong way to network?

There are tons of mistakes but I will focus on the top 3 mistakes many make when attending networking events.

The mishandling of business cards, those we give out, and those we receive (handing them over the wrong way, not looking at them when on the receiving end = lack of respect and courtesy, shoving cards in people’s face). I can expand on the proper technique to hand out or receive a business card. Networking without any business cards at all and/or refusing to hand out a business card when asked for it = unprofessional

The misconception that networking is about selling. Networking is not about selling, it is about building relationships. People buy from the people they like and trust. Networking is a process that takes time. Rushing/aggressive networking is counter productive. Networking is not about instant (sales) gratification it is about finding out about each other. The concept is not much different than dating, but on a different level. You want to see if there is a possible fit and the fit does not necessarily mean a sale to that very person, but possibly to that person’s second or ever 3^rd tier in his/her circle of influence.

Networking is not about you, it’s about them. People love to talk about themselves, and most of us are guilty of being so wrapped up in our widget that we talk the other person to death. Listening is much more valuable as it helps you gather information, and it helps put the other person at ease with you, hence it fosters the development of the relationship

9. I often hear some people are born great networkers; must you be born with networking skills or can you acquire them?

I will give an example of a totally introvert person who was a very poor networker and who, in just 2-3 months turned that totally around to become known as an expert networker, and the impact on that person’s life, both personally and professionally.

10. Social networking is rapidly becoming very popular. Do you consider that to be a viable way to network, of face to face networking remains necessary?

Networking can be done in many different ways, boots on the ground, through social networking sites, and with the advancement of technology, you can even network and interact LIVE with others while doing a “show & tell” of your business and widget from the comfort of your own home or office, saving precious time and gas money in the process. And you can do that locally, national and internationally, to a vast audience at one time (i.e. T.A.N. O.N.E – The Art of Networking Online Networking Events). In all forms of networking, the key remains your own demeanor, how you personally interact with others, how you conduct yourself, how you are perceived. All forms of networking are viable if your interact with others in a courteous, respectful and professional manner, without being pushy and without playing the game of “one upsmanship”.

Do yourself a favor. Consider getting involved with T.A.N. O.N.E. I can think of no better way to position yourself and your business for mega success.

Visit http://www.theartofnetworking.com today.

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Interview With Daniel Charles, CEO, Global Racing Alliances

Every now and then I encounter a business that is so cool, so out of the ordinary, that it is simply irresistible. Daniel Charles is an extraordinary entrepreneur who has developed two companies. Now, imagine for a moment, that you could get behind the wheel of an actual race car and drive the thing in a country such as, oh maybe France! Would that be great? Well, you can. This is what Mr. Charles can arrange for his clients. I spoke with Mr. Charles on June 10 . . .

1. Please tell us a bit more about who you are and what do you do?

I am an entrepreneur that has 2 businesses currently directly focused in the Motorsport industry. I started doing business at the age of 12 when I wanted to explore other avenues of careers other than the traditional path of going after a degree and getting stuck in an office cubical for the rest of my life. So I devised many plans to create unique business concepts. These concepts can range from multi-million dollar investments and small time start ups. This was what I enjoyed doing in my spare time, even when I was young. While everyone was out playing with marbles and catching spiders, I was working on developing business plans for my future. Currently I run 2 companies. One provides motorsports equipment from helmets to gloves, and the other provides Motorsport Racing experiences in 120 countries around the world, where just about anyone can have the chance to drive a professional racing car.

2. How did you put together all the resources needed to start your business? For example: getting the start-up capital, hiring staff, doing sales and marketing, advertising, etc.

When I started out, it was initially just working as a middle person, freelance. There’s not much start-up capital needed because when someone makes a purchase, you order and you just make the difference at no charge to the client. After that when a real expansion was needed, I needed real start-up capital. That’s when I borrowed from my parents and my relatives - about $10 000. I used that money to buy some stocks for marketing and I networked with more people in the industry. After that, when that started to make money, I decided to outsource this marketing to agencies. I just got it started from day to day marketing and started one sale at a time.

3. How hard was it to start up this business?

Well it was really hard because at that time I was still pursuing my studies at a local college and I had a ton of school work. So while everyone else was out partying and getting drunk on the weekends, I was investing my time into creating the business. I soon found out that there was much more to starting a business than simply selling something. There were so many calls to make, so many meetings to attend and so many issues to consider ( budget, staffing, deadlines). After I got my first business started, I was still studying and trying to deal with the numerous number of orders and the business that was coming in. It was about 3 years after starting my first company that I decide to run Global Racing Schools, a Motorsport Experience Sales Agency. Although I have spent countless of sleepless nights on my business and studies I'm glad I came out doing well at the end of it.

4. So tell me a bit more about your business.

DNA Motorsports ( www.kartcrgasia.com) is a regional South East Asian Distribution company that sells Professional Karting chassis, 6 brands of Engines, 3 brands of suits, gloves, shoes and helmets. We provide Racing equipment to the entire Automotive industry in general. Global Racing Schools (www.globalracingschools.com) is a company specialising in Motorsport Experience in any part of the world. We will arrange a unique experience for the client to allow the client to feel like a Professional Race car driver for one day. They will have a professional instructor along with their racing machines. These can range from Ferraris, Formula 1, Indy Cars, Stock Cars and many more. We are the largest Motorsport Experience Sales agency in the world with over 300 racing schools located all over the world. On top of that, we help our clients arrange private jets and hotel bookings to aid with their travel arrangement needs.

5. Why might someone use the services of Global Racing Schools?

First, it is free to use our service! Let's say a client wanted to go to France for 1 week and he wanted to have some kind of driving experience while he's there. He could google the schools in France, call them up, check the prices, check the dates, get explanation of the course and make his travel bookings. This has to be done several time because the school will need time to process the requirements and get back to the client after checking with the track and so forth. Another ways is for the client to come to Global Racing schools and let us know what they are looking for, budget, number of people, etc. We'll make all the arrangements for them! We'll save the clients so much time in making the arrangements. The best part is that we do this for free! And because we have so many choices of racing schools, we can help the clients make an informed buying decision based on our unbiased advice about the school because we have no obligation to any school. Saving time and getting an unbiased opinion is why clients use us.

6. So what is a typical experience that you help your clients set up?

Usually clients/ companies come to me to inquire about a certain date and experience. We'll make the suggestion as to what program will best fit into their budget and location, after which we will proceed to book the experience for the client. A typical program will start at 9am and end at 5pm. The day will include several laps around the track with the professional race cars with plenty of seat time and car swapping between the drivers. Instructors will be on hand to ensure safety and to correct the driver mistakes that may occur. Drivers will get a perfect chance to bond with each other which makes a great networking session for companies. Most of the time, after the day ends, customers stay in touch and establish further friendships. This is what a typical experience is like. We have clients from 14 year old kids to large companies looking to organize a unique experience for their staff or VIP guests.

7. Who could use these services?

Just about anyone. Many people think that these experiences will be very costly but actually that is not true. We have experience programs that start from USD 200. We can help in fitting the program to any budget that the client might have.

8. So whats the next step for you and the companies?

I am currently working to start up 2 more companies which will be launched in another 6 months time and we are establishing an office in Australia and another in London in the next couple of months. I am currently working with professional drivers to offer our services to them also. The next years will be very exciting for both myself as a businessman and my companies.

9. How can you be contacted?

Depending on location, the following information can be used to contact us:

Daniel Charles
CEO, Global Racing Alliances
US/CAN Toll: 1 866 276 6560
US Tel: +1 (305) 6001 038
UK Tel: +44 (0) 8442 329 563
UK Cell: +44 (0) 8442 328 632
Singapore Tel: +65 6483 2608
Singapore Cell: +65 9297 0785
Email: Charles@globalracingschools.com
Website: www.globalracingschools.com

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Interview With Elaine Williams - Author of 'A Journey Well Taken - Life After Loss'

Today I had the opportunity to speak with Elaine Williams, author of ‘A Journey Well Taken - Life After Loss’.

When the marriage of Elaine Williams ended in the tragic death of her husband Joe after 23 years of being together, Elaine could have simply thrown in the towel. Many do. However she chose to take a different path and discovered that there is at last a hope of happiness after loss.

A Journey Well Taken - Life After Loss is at its very core, a tale of discovery. It is filled with shock, sorrow, confusion, despair, pain, grief, transformation and ultimately hope.

As regards the death of a loved one, it is never a question of 'if', but is rather always a question of 'when'. Therein lies the problem, for it comes always too soon - the time is never 'right' for such things. It is not the event itself that is so painful, but is rather what we must do after the event that causes the fear to well up inside. For we know that we will be alone. Alone is a terrible place to be.

However, alone does not necessarily have to be forever, as Elaine illustrates so well in A Journey Well Taken. The book is raw. It is a gut-wrenching ride through the mind of one left behind. Unlike other books of its kind however, there is no linear progression from excruciating pain to final acceptance. It is instead a roller coaster ride of emotions that run the gamut from grief to joy and back again, time and again.

1. Why did you write A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss?
I wrote it initially for myself, but then realized that other women needed to read it. It's not just my experience but it's something many will go through. Even though grief is unique to each individual, there are untold similarities in the universal process. Your life changes -- not only in the obvious ways, but also emotionally and sometimes financially.

In today’s world, with our military men in foreign countries, support is crucial for the women who will become widows when lives are lost. My husband was ill with esophagus cancer, but it has to be an even more incredible heartache to find out your once healthy loved one has died far away from family on foreign soil.

2. You were a caretaker for your husband during his illness? Yes, with the esophagus cancer he couldn't eat, he was on heavy narcotics for pain control. Even though I wrote down everything, in the early days I was terrified of giving him an overdose. Once hospice started working on his pain control, I knew he was in good hands. I never thought of calling them except my sister-in-law, a nurse, told me pain control is their forte.

3. You state in A Journey Well Taken you felt devastated by this loss. Are you still feeling that, four years later? Some days it's still there, but I no longer feel that total devastation. I still think some days about what we’ve all lost, what our lives could have been had he survived. Most days I’m fine and no longer drained by the loss. My life is taking different directions. I love my life.

4. Do your kids talk about their dad? Yes, I encouraged it. My youngest boys are still home and we reminisce at times about funny incidences or remembrances involving their dad. My oldest, because he moved away, didn't have as much interaction in this manner, but I feel this really helped us, not being afraid to remember.

5. Do you think people in general understand the grief process? Not entirely. Many times people think the traditional time to be getting on with life is a year. At one year, I was just getting started on my healing process. I thought I was okay, then I'd go for days where I felt down and not okay. I'd start crying as I drove down the road. My emotions seesawed up and down without rhyme or reason. Some of my grief processing was delayed because I worked nonstop that first year. It kept me from thinking about the loss or facing the demon of loneliness inside. I pushed it way and closed the door.

6. How are your boys doing now? My youngest is almost sixteen. He's coming into his own comfort with who he is. He's a very outdoors type person, a lot like my husband in his interests. He likes to hunt, and a friend who is an avid hunter takes him with him. He got his first turkey this year. My middle son is 22 and is more focused. He went through a period where he wanted to stay in bed, not attend classes or get a job. Now he's working, in college, making plans for the future. My oldest had car accidents, tickets and had moved away from home. I envisioned him running wild and out of control. To some degree, this happened. He's now back in college working toward a marketing degree, works full time and has his own apartment. So we have all experienced our own testing as it were and come through on the other side.

7. Were holidays and anniversaries especially difficult? Yes, in the beginning. I felt like I was on autopilot, living in automation. You feel numb, and yet there's this deep, gaping wound in your chest that nothing will fix. I felt incredibly sad leading up to and through each anniversary and holiday. Christmas was the hardest. It was based on my own expectations of what Christmas has always meant; being with family and loved ones. For several years the holidays felt broken apart.

8. Did talking have any benefit for you? Yes, not only talking to other widows, but my writing also. I wasn’t able to communicate via writing for several years, and that worried me. I spoke with a counselor and she just let me talk and vent, getting out whatever was stuck on my mind. I had pain, worry about the kids, and just trying to figure out who I was anymore. Talking about your grief experience is one of the biggest healers, as far as I have learned.

9. You've described yourself as a totally different person from five years ago. In what way? Yes, I am so different in my attitude about life and the little things. My inner self has changed so much. I'm stronger, more independent than ever, happier, and in a way, more fulfilled, because it's all coming from inside me, the person I have evolved into. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, worrying, analyzing. I don't think I could have become who I am today without having gone through this particular experience.

10. You decided to start dating again. What was that like after being married 20 years? It was a shock, to say the least. I hadn’t dated since I was 23, and re-entered dating at 48. The world was vastly different. Many of us become wounded in one way or another through life, but some people choose not to leave their baggage behind. For myself, I decided I would not carry excess baggage nor would I settle for less than I deserved in a relationship. It took some real heartache to reach that decision.

11. What do you feel is the most valuable piece of knowledge you can pass along to others on this journey of loss? Expect life to change, viewing it as growth opportunity. If you remain open to living without shutting down in fear, life will bring you more than you ever expected.

A Journey Well Taken - Life After Loss
Elaine Williams
http://www.ajourneywelltaken.com

ISBN 978-0-9801108-0-7
US $13.95
An OnWings Press Trade Paperback

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