Thursday, August 25, 2016

Five Myths About Adult Brothers and Sisters Debunked By Jane Mersky Leder, Author Of The Sibling Connection: How Siblings Shape Our Lives

Leder’s groundbreaking ebook for adult brothers and sisters provides insight into sibling relationships and how those relationships dramatically affect our lives from childhood through old age

Unlike the majority of books about siblings, Leder’s ebook targets adult readers—parents, siblings, teachers, counselors, and grandparents.

Eighty percent of us have at least one sibling. Yet as Leder explores in her ebook, myths about adult siblings cloud our understanding of the longest relationship we have.

MYTH #1:  Birth Order - How many times have you been asked if you’re the oldest, the middle child, the youngest?  It’s that birth order theory: when you were born in relation to your sibling(s) makes you who you are.  

FACT:  Birth order is just one of many factors that mold your character.  In fact, some studies show that the order in which you were born is no more accurate than your astrological sign.  So take your order in the sibling hierarchy as just ONE piece of the personality puzzle.

MYTH #2:  Siblings, no matter when they are born, grow up in the same family.

FACT:  Every sibling grows up in a different family.  The relationship between parents has likely changed as have parenting styles.  (Often, parents are more relaxed with younger children as they’ve been through the drill before.)  The economics of the family may also have changed.  Maybe the mother has gone back to work, or the dad has been promoted or changed professions.  And, of course, as at least one more sibling is added to the mix, relationships between siblings will be reorganized, too.

MYTH #3:  Once connections between siblings are set in childhood, they cannot be changed in adulthood.

FACT:  Sibling relationships can change over time.  Close connections during childhood can be more distant during adolescence and young adulthood.  Siblings who fight when they are younger may become much closer as they age.  The sibling connection is fluid.  There is always the chance of making a bad relationship better.  Conversely, a close connection can become frayed.

MYTH #4:  The death of a parent brings siblings closer together.

FACT:   Yes, there are many stories of siblings working together to care for a parent who is dying and who share the other tough decisions of funerals, legal matters, and the execution of a will.  These siblings find strength in each other.  On the other hand, there are many stories of siblings who fight over important decisions or who don’t show up at all.  For them, conditions of the will can cause serious problems, particularly when a sibling feels she has been shortchanged. 

MYTH #5:  Politics and relationships are the top two topics that can cause the most disagreement between siblings.

FACT:  Those topics may cause problems.  But according to a respected author/expert, sex and money are the two most toxic subjects.  Better to keep your earning power and sexual exploits (or not) under wraps when comparing notes with your adult siblings. 

"Up until very recently, there was little study of the sibling relationship.  Brothers and sisters were seen as minor players in our lives.  Research now underscores the importance of the sibling connection and the many ways that our siblings help us better understand ourselves and the adults we’ve become."

The Sibling Connection has received praise from readers and reviewers alike. Publisher's Weekly said, "Sensitively written, valuable addition to the family psychology field." An Amazon reader called it, "A book to be read by everyone."

Jane Mersky Leder is available for media interviews and can be reached using the information below or by email at The Sibling Connection: How Siblings Shape Our Lives is available at all online book sites, including Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Kobo. More information can be found on her website at

About Jane Mersky Leder:
Jane Mersky Leder is fascinated by the complexities of relationships between generations, between genders, and between our personal and public personas.

She is also the author of Dead Serious, a book about youth suicide, named a YASD Best Book for Young Adults, and Thanks For The Memories: Love, Sex and World War II, the story of how men and women sought love, sex and security in the midst of the upheavals of wartime.

Jane has appeared on or in American Heritage, the Chicago Sun-Times, Psychology Today, McCall’s, Woman’s Day, Good Housekeeping, America in World War II Magazine, American Heritage, Minneapolis Star Tribune, National Public Radio, WTTW-TV,  Sarasota Herald Tribune, The Air Force News Magazine, WBEZ-FM, WBBM-AM, WLS-TV and other media outlets.


Jane Mersky Leder