Thursday, November 3, 2016

Teens Falling In Love And Meeting Online - Dr Barbara Becker Holstein, Psychologist, Filmmaker And Author Offers Valuable Advice

Dr. Holstein's award-winning books, plays and short films offer solutions to problems that impact today's teens and tweens and helps them develop positive self esteem

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein is a visionary who combines Positive Psychology with filmmaking and books to help young girls build self esteem. Falling in love used to be about meeting a boy, in person, in the physical world. That is no longer always the case. Today that first meeting is likely to take place via some form of social media online. Dr. Holstein understands at a very deep level the importance of media in the lives of young people. She reaches young people by using the tools they engage with today. Using cutting edge technology, she presents important concepts via New Media films that combine the technology of the video Selfie with a standard film crew. She helps young girls make sense out of a topsy-turvy, selfie-facebook-video-film based reality.

Dr. Holstein recently participated in a YourTango video panel entitled, "How Can I Be Successful At Online Dating?".  She feels it is vitally important for girls and women of all ages to understand some very important truths: "As a psychologist, I have heard so many stories about falling in love," Dr. Holstein stated.  "One thing I am sure of, and this is backed by research, particularly that done by Helen Fisher, falling in love is not only normal and common, but it is largely based on biological responses interpreted in our brain as, 'falling in love'.  Of course we have real attraction and interest in certain people and not others.  But the intense feeling of falling in love may have developed as a sure way of keeping the human race reproducing.  The love that lasts, whether a deep friendship or marriage is based on significant information being exchanged and evaluated around values, behaviors, interests, common goals, etc. 

"All of this is not easy to understand as we go through the chaos of adolescent development.  That's why in my book 'The Truth, Diary of a Gutsy Tween' and the film version, 'The Truth, a Short Film' the girl starts out in saying: 'I'm in love. I thought I would fall in love when I was much older, maybe 15. Not today....this new kid walked in. As soon as I saw him I knew....' 

"This human urge combined with the complexities of growing up and the ways that social media draws youngsters into a world beyond their neighborhoods, leads to pressures that often result in poor self-esteem and discouragement, even depression.  Role models are often hard to find, as researched again and again by Greena Davis.  For example on her website she cites that: 'From 2006 to 2009, not one female character was depicted in G-rated family films in the field of medical science, as a business leader, in law, or politics. In these films, 80.5% of all working characters are male and 19.5% are female, which is a contrast to real world statistics, where women comprise 50% of the workforce.'

"As a positive psychologist and a filmmaker it is my mission to make films that frontline girls and women talking with honesty and deep insight and playing significant female roles in each production.  Combining that mission with New Media technology such as the combined filmmaking of the Selfie video with camera crews is a win-win for girls and women and the industry of films."

Dr. Holstein believes in the power of the Selfie as a new film art form and as a way for girls to gain power. The Selfie can be used to meet a dangerous stranger or can be used by an actress to develop a deeper authenticity with the character she is playing -  much deeper than is possible when people are watching and/or directing in real time. As is very evident in her films, both the audience and the girl actors feel the deepened authenticity, as the characters become so real.

One of Dr. Holstein's recent short films, 'The Truth - A Short Film' uses the selfie concept to paint a portrait of a young girl. The new short film shows us how the girl attempts to deal with life changing problems, concerns, challenges and issues all young girls face. The result is an eye-opening, in-depth exploration of her life, giving the viewer the distinct impression that they have been somehow magically embedded into that life. If the selfie concept were be transformed into an art form, 'The Truth' would be the result. This film premiered at the Garden State Film Festival and its song, 'On The Edge of Something New' won the award as the best pop song of 2016.

The short two minute film by Dr. Holstein, 'The Truth, A Short Short Film', premiered at FilmOneFest in July. The film was chosen as an Official Selection in the Chain Film Festival held in Manhattan on August 13, 2016. The film was also selected by the Jersey City International Television and Film Festival (JCITFF), and will be shown on Saturday, November 5 2016 at the Jersey City International Television and Film Festival.

'The Truth, a Short Film', a longer 16 minute portrayal of a girl growing up, has been officially selected for the Golden Door International Film Festival held in September 2016. The Rahway International Film Festival recently chose the 2 minute version as an Official Selection.

Dr. Holstein's entire body of work is great for parents, grandparents, older siblings and teachers to establish lines of communication with the tweens and teens in their lives. Her books have received numerous awards. A recent review of Dr. Holstein's book, 'Secrets', stated, "This book should ideally be stocked in the home libraries of families with children and in school libraries worldwide."

'The Truth' focuses on how teens communicate their deepest needs. A trailer from her new short film, 'The Truth', an Official Choice of the Garden State Film Festival, is available at  The trailer captures the world of technology and its public nature with the intense needs of a young girl to share her most private and most intimate thoughts, feelings, ideas and secrets.

A sequel to 'The Truth', 'Secrets', starring Megan Brown, is currently in production. In the sequel, based on 'Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen', a girl shares her feelings and emotions, and pain, making Selfie Videos of herself.  Whether these are another form of the old fashioned diary, or whether she is reaching out to a stranger is unclear.  What is clear is her need to find someone or some place where she can share her longings and her hunger to find a home for her intense emotions. She needs to be understood, and to find peace of mind as she works her way through the adolescent storms.

Dr. Holstein is available for media interviews and can be reached using the information below or by email at All of her books are available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and all other online retailers. More information is available at her website at


Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, internationally known Positive Psychologist is the creator of The Enchanted Self ®, a positive psychology method for happiness. Dr. Holstein's Enchanted Self website,, was just included as one of the best websites in positive psychology. She is in private practice in Long Branch, New Jersey with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein.

Dr. Barbara can be found on the web, interviewed, writing articles and posting video 'TED' style talks on Happiness,  Positive Psychology, Relationships and Parenting.

She has been a contributor to Heart and Soul, Cosmopolitan Magazine, Redbook, Real Simple, The Wall Street Journal, Time on line, the Today Show and Family Circle Magazine.

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein
170 Morris Ave.,
Long Branch, New Jersey 07740